Ocean Eyes

With your tongue in my mouth
you try to tease out
the secret of my silence,

but I keep it hidden
                    like
a garden
        full of dead
                    & dying
flowers.

With your tongue in your mouth
you make sounds
that unfold my rib cage, take
each strange organ
in your hands &
show me that
bones need not be broken
                        to be open.
 
                  Somehow,
in the blue reflection of your ocean
eyes, the poison in these organs
rise like vapour to the sky;

somehow,
        that ocean brings me back to life.

So let me in
            & see
if I will sink

            or swim.

Élégiaque

For A

I no longer see why I should try not to relent
when the instinct kicks in:
fight or flight will never be a choice for
creatures like me:

some mammals just freeze…

but anyway,
please go ahead & tell me
about the problems
that weigh you down;

                    tell me about
the rivals who now also know
the sweet taste of your mouth,
                            & the others
that now know the secrets you hide inside…

Without you,
I see no reason not to think about
the old city & about
that lost life all the time:

a bride deprived of sensation & sight
after the bitter disappointment of
                                another dismal,
cliché wedding night,
through the senseless everything
I want to run,
              run,
run
      away
into
the bathetic,
self-inflicted
fuck up
of oblivion,

longing to forget everything,
except a dream I think I once had

Leave Me Alone

You asked me what I think
                sorrow & regret
will bring,
now the consequence of our decisions
have finally kicked in,

but the silver was stripped from my tongue when
I heard those words I never expected;
when you made me realise
there are some lives you live
& some you leave behind*

There was no answer to give you.

All I can do

is write this ugly poem &
hope that eventually we
can accept the reason

why it had to happen this way…


* Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone
– Neutral Milk Hotel

So much more…

Such repeated Pyrrhic victories it took
for you to see

that the one you used to love, the words
you once could trust,

are gone:
 
           now there’s no one.

But
by some undeserved serendipity
a new dream emerges.

& though we’re only two mammals
who desire the warmth of the other,

we’re also so much more.

The End

Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue
but you seem to have re-written,
the story of what was once you and me;

put as much distance as you can
between then &
                now.

Your eyes,
the smiles & the all that time spent together:

eventually the touch of all those memories
will disappear
& only the faintest trace
will remain…

can believing a lie make it a truth?
because I believe in the lie
that you still love me too;

the heart beating beside me every night,
that heart belongs to you.

Wherever we find ourselves next,
whoever else you let into your bed,
 
the feeling is still in my chest.