You asked me what I think
sorrow & regret
now the consequence of our decisions
have finally kicked in,
but the silver was stripped from my tongue when
I heard those words I never expected;
when you made me realise
there are some lives you live
& some you leave behind*
There was no answer to give you.
All I can do
is write this ugly poem &
hope that eventually we
can accept the reason
why it had to happen this way…
* Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone – Neutral Milk Hotel
Such repeated Pyrrhic victories it took
for you to see
that the one you used to love, the words
you once could trust,
now there’s no one.
by some undeserved serendipity
a new dream emerges.
& though we’re only two mammals
who desire the warmth of the other,
we’re also so much more.
Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue
but you seem to have re-written,
the story of what was once you and me;
put as much distance as you can
between then &
the smiles & the all that time spent together:
eventually the touch of all those memories
& only the faintest trace
can believing a lie make it a truth?
because I believe in the lie
that you still love me too;
the heart beating beside me every night,
that heart belongs to you.
Wherever we find ourselves next,
whoever else you let into your bed,
the feeling is still in my chest.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
I will make my way to you
All night we will talk &
drink wine, while outside
twilight will silently deny
colour to the flowers of your garden.
Inside, we’ll remain ignorant
of all this save
for some ineffable sense of
as we talk & laugh.
drink wine & then,
It’ll be fun
but through it all,
a loneliness will prevail:
The distance between us
is too vast to measure, & we
know that it won’t last forever.
Why do we do this to each other?
I loved someone,
in the same way,
& for the same reason
I love the moon:
you don’t need to see it every day,
to know that you’ll see it again;
you can’t always see it, but
you know it’ll always be there…
months became years & those years
became the unnoticed mouldering kiss;
a distance turning stale,
old & cold as the
So lonely not knowing how to explain
until too late,
& strange to find how changed
the feeling is when found again;
the pain so far away
just like the Moon.