Tell a truth, or tell a lie

I get hammered, forget you exist / there’s no way I’m forgetting this”*

That city turning pink
in the sun’s slow descent;
the night air still vibrant
yet gentle now
                      as if
in its old age the day
had finally found a way to be kind
& calm without losing all passion for
the fire
          of summer; 

your hair, shed like feathers discovered in

my bed,
a mess of tresses untangled
& tangled again. 

Now all only a memory

of a scent & the slope of your shoulders
at 5 a.m in the morning; 

photographs of long lost days

when we still adored each other,
before the decay became
                                       poison: 

the silence, the speech, the years of peace

& warmth
& war
& lies
& tired eyes
& not fucking any more 

& bored

            so bored
of the performativity;
                                another
dancing monkey
out of sync with the organ grinder;
a comedy without laughter,
a tragedy without despair,
only anger.
 
 
 
All this & more now lives below
a gravestone with no
inscription,
 
our dream decaying
beneath the surface.

 

* Scott Huchison

Artemis and the Moon*

No more the warmth of your smile

waiting for me

behind

the door or

between the sheets; sharing body heat;

blood pulsing, hearts, random hearts beating

for each other in a cruel, cruel world**. 

 

No more silences,

either callous or beautiful.

No more Blue-john stones & those future dreams

we

always secretly knew would never come

true.

 

No one knows who put the ice-pick through

the skull of Brontsein

 

& only we 

know how it ended…

 

let us keep our secret, please, leave me

to my dreams

 

while you escape your fate

& be gifted that which you always

wanted

 

& History can be re-written…

 

 

 

*Artemis and the Moon

** Randon Hearts -Laura-Jane Grace

A painting or a stain

Viscous to liquid, now dissipating

                                                         into nothing;

colours fading from the imposing painting

of the future now no longer

still in progress.

 

No more changes, no new creations

only the repetition of all that

always leaves you back where you began, yet

if the colours begin to brighten again

as always they have

                                 eventually;

when the flames flare & the embers turn

to a fire fierce & dangerous,

 

perhaps

the painting will be beautiful again;

 

                            perhaps

you will change…

Heart Rat

Your heart rat escaped the ribcage

                                                        trap

too late to save its brain:

 

they peeled back the skin, broke the skull beneath

to search for what cannot be found.

 

Line after line we try

to shed our shroud of lies.

I aim too high,

                            afraid

not of hights but the oubliette

where words forget to hide our fear,

 

& then the poem disappears

                                                         when

you tell me how you held her in your hands

as she died.

 

Your heart rat was one of the lucky ones:

 

She was loved,

not experimented on.

 

If only

              we could all be so lucky…

 

 

Janus

The Janus face spits as a knife
penetrates just beneath the ribs,
drags a deep diagonal from
heart to liver,
& the organs slither
                    onto the floor:

Tasseography as grotesquerie;
desecrating rivers of gold,
watching as you piss into the ocean…

You’ve learnt nothing.

Still hiding behind the second person,
still lost in
               the hall of mirrors,
                                oblivious
to the stench left behind;
walking away,
            closing your eyes,
pretending that you’re blind;

that symbolic sacrifice will suffice.

So like a coward
                   you disappear
as penance

& fuck up the last line

                        again.