& then when
the morning light made me choke as
how the gentle susurration blended
with the birdsong & the light
curved like the branches above us
skin within which poison blends with pollen
& flowers blossom before I pluck them
to place in your hair where
they will wither & die.
The past still lingers in the present,
& refuses to leave with the grace
of living things.
This is what regret means:
never to forget someone
knowing of all the lives that could have been;
for the last time.
Every time we’re near enough to touch
my body forgets the regrets
in my mind & in my liver.
Do you remember when
we listened to that cover song
below a muted sun
as we waited
for a plane to take us away?
Just you & me
I can’t remember a more beautiful
I can’t listen to that song
but I will always adore you
just as we sang to each other
in that final summer
of our happiness.
“With rebellion, awareness is born.” – Albert Camus
When we were young
They told us
“Never look directly at the Sun”.
& for a while we didn’t.
Not from deference
to the authority of parents,
but out of reverence
for the warmth:
It was the animal – the It
& not the I – that compelled us
to wear the warm veil of our eyelids
when we dared to approach the source
of all light & benevolent warmth…
…but we’re not young anymore, so
we looked & what we saw
changed us forever.
we stand before ancient energy,
a violence our gaze can never meet,
as small animals
in a fatal & final ecstasy
to close our eyes,
stunned & waiting
for the after-image to fade
Afraid of what will come after.
“But I remember
when we were young”.
*Insight – Joy Division