Existence

The Forest

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Through the Forest,
                             through
a thousand years of struggle,
 

I finally find the clearing
but see nothing,
                            only
empty space & the remains
of all those who’ve been here before.

 

There is nothing here for me
                                          so
I’ll continue to wander through the trees
until
I can see
              the sky,
where
true beauty &
meaning
hide as
I lose myself in the story
I read yet still
don’t understand.

 

Heart Rat

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Your heart rat escaped the ribcage

                                                        trap

too late to save its brain:

 

they peeled back the skin, broke the skull beneath

to search for what cannot be found.

 

Line after line we try

to shed our shroud of lies.

I aim too high,

                            afraid

not of hights but the oubliette

where words forget to hide our fear,

 

& then the poem disappears

                                                         when

you tell me how you held her in your hands

as she died.

 

Your heart rat was one of the lucky ones:

 

She was loved,

not experimented on.

 

If only

              we could all be so lucky…

 

 

Past // Present // Future

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Each anticipated day arrives &
elides into the past,
as we wait,
           again,
but for what?

How long will it take
for the pattern to change?

When will the cycle end?

With no past the future
becomes a desert &
                  the desert grows,
surrounding us
                  like the slow
creeping
of midnight mist…

with no future
the present becomes a test

you will fail unless
                    you refuse
to fight against
the meaninglessness
& dance instead

with the absurdity

The City #2

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The City street-lamps conspire to hide,
the cold shimmer of starlight from our eyes,

the stars we walk beneath but cannot see,
thinking only of what will never be.

The City is teeming with ice-
cream peddlers, vintage shops &
        chain stores;
           
                    the City
pours water warm as blood upon us
        & we just shrug;

the City
        defies Gaia
& we ignore her protestation.

The City is killing us

& we allow it to happen.

I want to burn it down to the fucking ground.

The City #1

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Lost in the pressure of the Simulacra,
the strange among strangers
faces
of new buildings
                seeming
threatening,

weird & eerie.

Yet all the rest – or so
                        it seems –
of the animals in the City
are so at ease,
               but to me
the noise,
the fumes & traffic, tragic
neglected people forced to sleep
on the streets – “Sorry,
don’t have any change” –
& the oppressive cranes
declaring the domination
                                of Capital;

the hive-mind
blind to the mantic fury of
                            the lost
history buried beneath the streets
consume me.

The City disgusts me.