For the one I hardly knew. For you, B

The weight against

my left arm;

the calm;

deliquesce into dreams,

& all other words that can never reach

across the distance between us:

 

return,

return to me,

don’t

leave, don’t

leave 

only empties,

& drained memories

of masochistic anarchy,

& romantic naivety;

 

the weight no longer against my left arm:

 

how can I dream of anything without

your human heat beside me,

the scent and sense of you that lingered

for days; the way

each morning I would be made to

force myself to leave

from beneath

the bed sheets & between

transcendent moments of butterfly wing

flickering eyelids unfurling

into the purity of attention

beyond

the iris reflection?

 

You saw me & didn’t look away:

I thought I saw you until the day you

finally found tranquillity, that day

I remember so vividly, the day

I realised I was blind:

 

only saw what I wanted to, never

gave the true love you were long overdue.

 

With your name tattooed into my skin; with

these still-born memories knowing I will never hold you

again

 

I continue

for every me & every you, for

that short time when nothing else existed

but us.