Élégiaque

For A

I no longer see why I should try not to relent
when the instinct kicks in:
fight or flight will never be a choice for
creatures like me:

some mammals just freeze…

but anyway,
please go ahead & tell me
about the problems
that weigh you down;

                    tell me about
the rivals who now also know
the sweet taste of your mouth,
                            & the others
that now know the secrets you hide inside…

Without you,
I see no reason not to think about
the old city & about
that lost life all the time:

a bride deprived of sensation & sight
after the bitter disappointment of
                                another dismal,
cliché wedding night,
through the senseless everything
I want to run,
              run,
run
      away
into
the bathetic,
self-inflicted
fuck up
of oblivion,

longing to forget everything,
except a dream I think I once had