The End (re-written)

This is a reworked version of a poem posted in haste a couple of weeks ago. The words needed to come out, but they were written in obvious haste.

The original is still on the blog, because I feel that the raw immediacy, for all it’s lack of dignity, still contains some value…

One last mouldering kiss,
before your lips let slip
a cut that split my tongue apart.

Our internal heat lost all warmth;
a distance so vast in a space so small.

Now nothing remains between us,
but bodies diving deep into silence,

As I try to hide my aching eyes;
you try to speak;
                but words
are just worms
crawling to the surface
                of my mind:

I can’t hear anything.

The soil is choked by salt:
I have fucked this up.

So let every worm be eaten by birds;
take away every word my love
& let me think no more.

Your eyes,
          your smile & all
those moments together:

soon the touch of those memories
will slowly disappear
& only the faintest trace
                        will remain…

The heart that once pressed against me
every night,
the heart that belongs to you,
will never be close to me again,
                                yet
wherever we find ourselves next,
whoever else we let into our beds,
 
the feeling will always remain in my chest.

How I wish this could be
the end of everything,
                    but it isn’t.

It’s just the end of what was us.

Leave Me Alone

You asked me what I think
                sorrow & regret
will bring,
now the consequence of our decisions
have finally kicked in,

but the silver was stripped from my tongue when
I heard those words I never expected;
when you made me realise
there are some lives you live
& some you leave behind*

There was no answer to give you.

All I can do

is write this ugly poem &
hope that eventually we
can accept the reason

why it had to happen this way…


* Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone
– Neutral Milk Hotel

The City #2

The City street-lamps conspire to hide,
the cold shimmer of starlight from our eyes,

the stars we walk beneath but cannot see,
thinking only of what will never be.

The City is teeming with ice-
cream peddlers, vintage shops &
        chain stores;
           
                    the City
pours water warm as blood upon us
        & we just shrug;

the City
        defies Gaia
& we ignore her protestation.

The City is killing us

& we allow it to happen.

I want to burn it down to the fucking ground.

So much more…

Such repeated Pyrrhic victories it took
for you to see

that the one you used to love, the words
you once could trust,

are gone:
 
           now there’s no one.

But
by some undeserved serendipity
a new dream emerges.

& though we’re only two mammals
who desire the warmth of the other,

we’re also so much more.

The City #1

Lost in the pressure of the Simulacra,
the strange among strangers
faces
of new buildings
                seeming
threatening,

weird & eerie.

Yet all the rest – or so
                        it seems –
of the animals in the City
are so at ease,
               but to me
the noise,
the fumes & traffic, tragic
neglected people forced to sleep
on the streets – “Sorry,
don’t have any change” –
& the oppressive cranes
declaring the domination
                                of Capital;

the hive-mind
blind to the mantic fury of
                            the lost
history buried beneath the streets
consume me.

The City disgusts me.